Dear Results.... Grief strikes on lovers day

2/19/2020 02:27:00 PM

Dear Results, 

I need some advice. I'll be brief, a loved one of mine passed away on Valentine's Day 3 years ago. This person was a vital part of the family structure and a result of their transition is PURE dysfunction. I wrote in to you to get some insight on what I can do to feel "normal" again. Valentine's Day is supposed to be a holiday full of love - yet for me, it's nothing but darkness and emptiness. I'll admit, I haven't really been myself since their passing and I wondered if you had any tips on grieving. What is it that I'm NOT doing so that I may enforce whatever guidance you bestow upon me. 

Signed, 
Grief Stricken

Dear Grief Stricken,

First and foremost, my most sincere condolences to you on the passing of your loved one. There are no words that I can put together to take that pain away. I know ALL too well about what happens when a viral family member passes away. Do you remember the original Lion King movie that came out back in the day? Well, there's a song they sing called "The Circle of Life". I look to the song for solace. (comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness.) Music has often been my personal "go- to" when it comes to matters of the heart, whether light or heavy. Essentially, there are (5) stages to grief and loss, which include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and lastly acceptance. It is very important to recognize what stage you're in and find comfort in knowing that you are not alone. I would also like to suggest you begin journaling your day before bed. After a week or so, go back and review your entries. You'll see me often mention visiting a licensed professional. Some issues require further examination. Maybe a family intervention where everyone can sit down and speak their peace. Depending on how your loved one effected each individual will determine what stage they're in and how long they stay there. I'm still going through stages from my grandmother passing away in August of 2015. My bearthday is in August and I can truly say the month as a whole just isn't the same to me. It just doesn't hold the same value. I CAN tell you that it's easier to deal now and bottom line, healing takes time. I wish your heart and mind peace during your process. 

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